Geography

In my last geography exam I got 94 ( icse 2005).

“ thobraar geography palte debo” is one of my favourite dialogues.

The geography of my place of residence is moderately flat , on relatively higher ground. Let me tell u something about where I live. I live in north kolkata. Here people live in dingy ancestral flats and homes which have been there in their families for years. The shops are owned by people whose dads and granddads were in the same shop.

The apartments over her have no security guards. There is cat shit every now and then that litters the stairs. Foul smell comes from it , but nobody cares. Everybody is used to it. There is no parking space , people just do that in the streets. Here in the north we don’t have pizza … we have bread and butter instead.

Simple people and puny lives. That’s what the north is all about . parents here don’t want their children to have businesses and become millionaires, they want them to study. Kids out here have two options : doctor or engineer . no fashion designer , chef or models from up these parts. Over here we don’t get computers before we are 18 and our father can afford that. Life begins early here, 5.30 am to be sharp. You might be thinking “that’s midnight !” , well what to say this is the north. We ride in cramped up buses who charge fares according to conductors. One charges 4 , the other charges 6. we like the metro. Its fast and cheap. We are used to heat and sweat.

Studying in an English medium is still a status symbol here. Kids are pushed and egged to perform in school. First they do it cause their fathers tells them to. Then , when their minds and eyes start co-ordinating , they study cause they understand what their fathers really are. They understand the scenario , the fact that their dad has no provident fund , that he will never win a lottery and that the kid himself is the only shot his parents have got.

We don’t buy music here. We loan . we use the radio . we watch very few movies. Quite a few on dvd. The joint entrance exam is the “ make or break” thing here. U do it , everbody loves u . u don’t , u yourself will get bored listening to how useless your existence is. Life is quite slow , but rhythmical here. Life on the edge ? yaa, the edge of middle class morality , the edge of a happy life( by happy I mean earning more than my father does, just that !). the restaurants are so dark that u cat really see what u are eating. They are air conditioned , but dark ! I doubt whether that’s ambience or a practical way to hide that there is no chicken in the chicken soup.

Now times are changing. The new breed of professionals who work in sector five are becoming richer. They still travel in their company bus, which has signs like TCS Shyambajar etc. but they are alleviating the scenario. Their parents are happier (more than happy!) their( new breed) kids go to pre primary schools and don’t use “ slate-pencil-chalk”. The roads are getting revamped (at a very slow rate), especially dakhshineswar , which , now looks classy !

The new breed is buying cars , and going to A-M-E-R-I-C-A ( another status symbol for parents !). what they are doing there is of no importance to the poor old parents who trust their siblings with all eyes closed . and what do the siblings do ? they plan. They loan . and they go to salt lake. And then they drive their parents out. And they sell their old home to get rid of the loan for their salt lake home. Some of the new breed are smarter. They go to Hyderabad and to Bangalore. And then “ western union money transfer” is the only way they interact with their familia.

Many people will have a lot to say like “ all this is crap, the north isn’t so bad !” .to them , this is what ive seen for the last 19 years of my life. Either I am ignorant of what u say, or what u say matters to u , and not the majority.

Its true I have a hard and more extreme outlook to the things around me. So in reality , the north isn’t really so bad ! u should come and visit it sometime ! really u should ! trust me !

That shit*y feeling

I return from the café feeling like sh#t . in the café I had been browsing through blogs . u know …not people like me who blog for “ hey look at me !! “ kind of attention , not people like me who blog to prepare for enhancing writing skills required to give exams. I go through these blogs of incredible people. I don’t care what they look like in real life , their mentality is so standard, their thoughts are so impregnated with truth and feelings and emotions.

I go through rhea silvia s blog , I go through zephyr s blog , I fiddle with the blog of people who are my age , and who blog just for the sake of it. And I feel like sh#t , when I realize I am just not good enough. No I am not , I can post weird “ awesome man !” kind of comments in anonymous tag : but in reality nobody thinks I am that. My friends , A and M tell me that I write good , P congratulates me when I call her up at night , but I understand that I am simply second rate . Accepting that has been my problem all my life. “You are not good enough!” the most dreaded words for me. And what have I done all my life when people have said it ? I have worked harder and literally melted my a$$ , not ate , not slept , forgotten where I am , what I am … and I have simply worked to become good enough for them who thought I wasn’t .

I return home and call P . She gives me news that makes me feel even more like sh*t . It turns out that her mother has scolded her, and that too because of my irrationality.. my idiotic messages on a certain social networking site. Poor poor P ! she gets scolded by her mom , and her exams are near … and I am causing all this diversion to her already overloaded mind . Forgive me P . I am really sorry.

I have lunch. I stop feeling like sh*t . After all, we are talking of ‘ robibarer mansho bhaat” , if u are not a middle class bengo , u wouldn’t understand. Its not the elixir of life, but when u wait and wait for an entire week for something this good … it rids u of all your sorrow and delusions.

I guess I have changed with my surroundings, adapted and rationalized and perfected. New ideas like “lyaadh” and “ daabi” u know typical JU stuff have become important. But now I am thinking of some other changes. Changes like me shouting at my mom. Like me talking to my dad in a way I wasn’t used to. Am I just plain and simple weird or are there dudes and dudettes like me who sometimes feel like sh*t , sometimes shout at their parents and sometimes stay awake at the dead of the night talking to people whom we feel understand us ?

I know this is not answers.com . but if u have managed to come to the end of this delirious random abstract piece of my mind , then it is my plea ( I beg u !) , to let me know … are u able to identify with me .. a little bit ? Even a tiny bit?? Let me know …comments are invited.

Gaawdd everything is burning !!

Suddenly in the evening I decide that I have to cook maggi ( not maagi !) and eat. I don’t listen to my mom , “ no I will do it myself !” I speak out firmly. After all a grown up guy, I mean man , has to start looking after himself right ?

So I go and ask the shopkeeper “ how much ? for one maggi ?” the shopkeeper looks at me through his half rimmed glasses which need changing , and smiles wickedly; u know those narrow smiles which say so less and tell so more . “ maggi !!! “ I shout in his ears to make my point and dispel any doubts in his mind. Having completed the transaction I returned home.

So there I am , greatest chef of the century cooking maggi , whats the tagline ? yes I remember “ kholo , ubalo aur khalo “ ha ha.. so easy. But I am noy going to do that right ? I remember this chef I had seen in tv who spoke of “ experimenting with gastonomical delights” , so I also start experimenting… with chillies !

There are so many chillies, fat ones , small ones , round ones , red ones … even some people are there like chillies. Well for one thing is common to them all.

THEY BURN ! I slice the chillies , right through the middle making a symmetric cut … “ they smell nice” I say to myself. I hold them in my hand and sprinkle , yes , sprinkle, them over my almost done maggi noodles. And then I rub my hand on my forehead ( I am sweating like a pig ) . and u know what happens ? IT BURNS !

My forehead is burning… I wash it with water …” aaaoooooowww” its no use its still burning. Suddenly I feel this tremendous urge to pee ! but I cant go ! cause if I do the maggi will get burnt ! so my forehead is burning and the maggi is burning. But I am not giving up ! I stir the noodles, I check the water level , I see that the plate is ready … and all this , while I am desperately wanting to go somewhere else. No surprise , some part of mine starts burning. So my forehead is burning, the maggi is burning and something else is burning. Gaawdd everything is burning !!

I don’t know how I manage to eat the tremendously hot maggi on a tremendously and equally hot evening, but I pull it off. “Great show boy ! I mean man !” ,I say to myself. And I do something I do best. I blog and make u laugh !

p.s. some part of me : understand on your own !! otherwise i will be censored !!

Slump

thats what a long session wid Slayer can do to u !

anyways people who were confused wid my post HYSTERIA , here are a few facts . Gavaskar is just a collge friend , probably my best mate in college. his name is actually Rohan , and he is wickedly great with table tennis. the first time i met him i gave him this name " Gavaskar " , i dont know why , probably because he resembled a sport person.

when u look at this pic beside the post , what s the word that comes to your mind instantly ? please readers let me know .. one word that is it . comment in my blog.

i guess i also have to thank rob sheridian for this awesome example of digital photography ! any ways someone told me late last night ( or was it early this morning ? ) that i am over doing this blogging stuff : what can i do ? if i dont blog , ill become this specimen of interest beside u ---->


any ways dudes and dudettes remember to tell me the first word in your mind ..ok ? waiting for your delicious comments its acidVox signing off

Hysteria

Right now I am just trying to break my head and spill out my brains , thanks to SEPULTURA , they are so helpful at these times. I am feeling just so idiotic and useless. What have I done in my life ? nothiiing that’s right …nothing. In the afternoon Gavaskar came along . he called me up, said he wanted to “ explain “ stuff to me . great , so I go to this place near my home and I am wearing shorts which literally fall off if I run too fast , and there is Gavaskar with a dame. It was so obvious, I am so lame ..no explanations required I get th point , you have come to my home and u will remain there for like upto 5 pm .. playing stupid games ( seriously , who will believe that lame excuse )…. That’s what I have to report if your mom calls up right ? and all that time when I am busy defeating Manchester united with a Chelsea squad which does not resemble the real one ( relax fifa 08 guys !) , youu Gavaskar run around courting your south city college dame ….
Needless to say I am in a foul mood when I return after hearing Gavaskar s “ stuff “ … and I end up shouting at my mother for ruining my life by making me score good in school !!
Naa seriously .. I did not have a old flame in high school … why ?? I was f###g busy to work my ass off and get into a good college. And now that I am here … now what ? I am again f####g busy to work , and fill up forms , and apply for visa and do other menial work to get my ass into some bigshot university for my ,masters.
Wow !! the roxvox of sepultura can really shout ! wonder if he is a frustrated geek like me ! naah …. Any ways I have decided its high time for me to get up and START SHOUTING…. I saw some one’s comment at sumit’s blog ; it said “ BANG BANG BANG “ that’s what we need to do with our monotonous life.
Just switched on Christ illusion by Slayer … does the computer know what to play ?? thanks my friend .. u r my pc u r my friend … u r cool.
Naah ! I cant go on, my head is reeling already ! and what do u guess ? Pantera is waiting !! feels good .. feels like u are in control of your mind.


Regards to ferluci .. acidVox signing off

Acid bulb part 2

It might appear that utter foolishness and impossible dreams urge me to start writing on a mature topic such as this. But if I speak truly, personal reflections and thoughts about these things have forced me to write what I am doing right now. The thoughts keep bothering me all the time. The only way to let out the steam is to write it down.

The reader must know that I have tried to represent actual facts through my self-degrading writings. My anger, vented out in this fashion, is not directed to any particular person but to the entire creed of a criticised class. I express my most humble apologies for not knowing the political scenario of the plethora of democratic nations , but I have to say , if it is the same as in India or rather west Bengal , it is surely not delectable.

Visualize this- a student , aspiring to reach the topmost rung of success, has to bear with 730 politicians who are trying to blow their lungs out, and has to study for his board exams , and pursue higher studies- amidst all that noise and disturbance !!

May everyone else have deliverance from such inhuman behaviour !

p.s. these posts were originally written by me on the evening before my history and civics exam in class ten . god knows how i managed 94 in it , considering that i was so busy venting out my anger the earlier evening .... if god doesn't know i guess ferluci does !!

Acid bulb - part 1

In the dominant political scenario there is never an equipoise of power------ before the elections, forget it; during it, there is (considering the immense political force stationed at every nook and corner and an excess at the various polling booths), after it--- if u live in India, you just cannot ask for it.

Perhaps, the most vibrant display of this can be found in the various banners enlightening our roads. But wait; there is not only one language or colour trying to spread the message to everyone. You will find magnificent fluorescent coloured writings, in various fonts, giving optical illusions etc, and you will have the same message written side by side in two, sometimes three, languages. Call it the “dance of democracy “ or the effort to eradicate illiteracy in a practical way” …I just wonder what impression this offal trash leaves on the citizens of civilised nations who come to visit our country.

The criticised class would say, in a firm voice, booming with authority, “ the constitution of India provides mass propaganda etc etc”. I am never attempting to devalue our constitution in any meagre way, but to just make my point let me say this. I AM FED UP. I am fed up of trying to prepare for a competitive examination where I try to oust a lakh of equally deserving candidates… while 367 members of the criticised class shout at the top of their voice … which is amplified by mikes and loudspeakers, for 365 days of the year.

If u want to , hang me !! at least I will die a martyr !!

Being Unsuccesful

this is a poem which i had written some time back after i had not come first in my class !! i know it was crazy to say that i had become unsuccesful in life .. but at that moment it felt like that ... its hard to introspect ..it brings out the truth and makes u stare blankly at your own stupidity.. anyway here goes ....


Sometimes in life u don't get what u want,

U pray boast sacrifice and flaunt,

but before u realize everything is a waste ,

And u realize that failure is bitter to taste,

Your dream has suddenly died ,

Whose living should have plied ,

And twisted your fate ,

So u could be happy and not full of hate,

Towards the world state and feelings ,

Of being unsuccesful, unfruitful tillings,

And how do i know so much andtell so much u ask ?

Well i have been unsuccesful a few times ,

And it was a gruelling task,

The pain finally has to end,

And this message to u i send.

Introduction

acidVox : who is he ? whats the funny name for ? why is he starting a blog ?

acid : chemically corrosive substance
Vox : vocals-voice

so acidVox means a dude whose voice is like acid .. one whose words leave a permanent scar ... a blot on your heart. one of his acidVox s friends tells .. " this is a guy u just can't ignore... he is like one of those paintings in a gallery which suddenly jarrs ur senses "
i like that , having a real ability to catch people's attention making them look at you and try to understand u . it feels great when u can catch hold of people's faces and turn them so they look straight at u .... and the n have no option but to present the truth , because the truth must come out , sooner or later.

blogging and acidVox : yeah he has been writing , in his diary all these years. blogging .. naah this is acidVox's first time. why? well he needs to let the worl know...that he is someone else on the inside .. some part of him thinks, rationalizes and deduces real life in a different way ... he needs to practice , he needs to perfect ....

without further ado ... regards to ferluci and ledzep ... acidVox has entered the building !