Thursday, July 3, 2008

Kochi prem( new love)

This is a poem I wrote just now. Its purpose is to fill up my blog with comments of how bad I am at writing poems. There are 32 lines (my failed attempt to make it a sonnet !) its all about feelings and real emotions we feel when we really fall in love, not the showy “look-i-got-a-gf” kind of love, but the real deal. Don’t like crap at the beginning? Ok I’ll just shut up.





When your thoughts wander
And your heart skips a beat
When your ears stand out
In spite of the heat
When your head reels
And your doubts are resolved
Bliss! u say to yourself
Not knowing what it is.
Ur cell needs a recharge
Ur pocket too
But all u want to do
Is talk the night through
your mind is in “ happy “ mode
And u feel like god
Before even thinking
That u r mortal

u feel omnipotent
and everything is in control
at least in your dreams
woven with mirth’s strings
u write poems just to see
and convince yourself
that all this is free’
how foolish art thou !
to feel like this
not knowing when to strike
and when to relent
control ? it’s a forgotten word
topsy turvy is your world
yourself , are at bliss
on top of the topsy turvy world
At no cost will u miss.

11 comments:

acidVox said...

actuaaly a senior sent me a poem, in bengali. i got inspired !

amrita said...

good attempt...

Anonymous said...

very nice indeed...xcept for the one instance wen u mention abt cell nd recharge..
..the very idea of the philosophical mood nd da tranquil feeling...wen everythng is infrnt of u...bt the image on ur mind is only of ur luv....its quite purgatory..nd healing..!

cheers...keep up the nice wrk...

acidVox said...

to anonymous reader : ya i know i shuldnt hav talkd of the cell ...it sounds too artificial. and u bet ill keep up the nice work

to amrita: ill try to make a better attempt nxt tym

rimz said...

i like the way u write~ its just true from ur heart and really dnt feel anything forcefully stuffed.
All seems so natural...
Thats wat i like in a writing..
keep it up buddy.

suchetana said...

gr8 Yaar.....Real feelings when actually we r in love...
r U too???/


keep on writing...
& yes the poem ws good....try sum more...

acidVox said...

suchetna ... i am always in love ! with my work, my love, my music evrything

CharbaK In Rust said...

qt gud..... and i think the lines abt cell is interesting... gud that it's not extended further... oderwiz th poem wud lose weight...


keep goin on.... nice job.... ur gud poems as well man..

charbak

acidVox said...

hey come on charbak ... u r the poet dude .... me am a rookie as far as poems go ... but ur encouragement is always welcome !

Twisha Mukherjee said...

To Anonymous, the line about the cell and the pocket makes the poem "down-to-earth", thus making it all the better.
To Diptyajit, The first stanza has more of the "rhyme and rhythm" than the second one.

acidVox said...

yes i know