So last time around I told you all about the happiest feelings of life :
Today I will speak of the most painful feeling of life( according to me). No , its not when your new love breaks , its rather more complicated.
Actually due to some reasons , which I don’t want to be asked, last night I felt this particular feeling. U know ? when you are so sad that you want to cry like hell and damn it ! your tears don’t come out !
It hurts man ! its like someone put some air in between your throat and your chest , and he started to pump it in , increasing that pressure , going on and on till u reaaly feel hurt badly. And do you know the shi**y part about this ? u still cant cry !
Coming back to me, I don’t know if you are not comfortable with a guy accepting the fact that he was ready to cry ! but I am like that. U think I am a wimp ? let me know .
So what does acidVox do ? he is not going to lie there and cry all day ( I mean night !).
I get up. Drink a lot of water ( a lot means around a litre !) and I start pacing up and down in the dark room. My mind is in hyper-crap-thinking mode. But I rationalize and reach certain conclusions. I remember saying this in rimz’s blog ( or maybe mine). It is important how fast we can cool down and take control of our minds, because the longer we take to do so, the more trouble we a re liable to land into.
As usual I needed music. But its around 1 am in the morning! I cant switch on the computer. So I trust my mp3 player. And what do u expect? Scorpions. Aomi are u listening ?? I mean god is so cruel ! Sometimes. All I need that time is some death metal Slayer , Pantera ,Purple revolver anything to rack my brains up and make me dizzy , and what does my mp3 player have for me ? Scorpions and their usual genre of songs ( still loving u , leaving u …. Etc)
I mean “sh*t” . the topic I want to avoid … they just make it coming back again.
Trust me , when u have the feelings as I described and your earphones blare out a sad song which has “ still loving u” as its theme , I don’t care if u are Sly Stallone , you are going to weep, unless of course you are deaf ! so obviously acidVox does the inevitable. I cry like a baby!
Ha ha …. Me .. yes I weep at night. So think dudettes and dudes what kind of individual’s blog are u reading ! haha … guess I am a real time guy !
I wanted to say many more things, I know u r not going to be satisfied with so little information. But I don’t know why , but hiding information is something in vogue these days. Haute couture ….. if I remember French correctly ! so ill just play my part!
If u have ever felt this kind of feeling, can u (if u want to) share it with me? Comments are welcome, as always.
As for me .. I will just do a blog surfing while listening to Cannibal Corpse! Death metal and ferluci .. I accept your sovereignty over me !