Thursday, October 2, 2008

Remembering

This is just a trip to a particular event in my life. I have been thinking about it all morning. I might exaggerate facts here and now. Ok. Crappy introduction. Lets get to the meat.

 

Once upon a time, in a school far far away , there lived a boy. A boy who topped his class. A boy who was the class monitor , and the teacher’s pet. His name was D. he was a power-abusive and proud boy who loved to be in verbal fights with people he considered physically stronger than him.

            One fine day , when he was in the sixth grade, he was busy having one of those fights with a certain dumb-ass called H. H was a typical example of a dumb-ass. Broad shoulders. Huge head. No brains. Typical . Well, at one instant of their verbal conversation , H decides he has had enough. Obviously he has! How can he match the superior logical skills and eloquence of his counter-part ? so what does H do? Well simple.

            Step 1: H gets up. He yells at D.

 

            Step 2: H folds a steel chair( the old fashioned steel chairs u see in old schools )

 

(meanwhile : D gets up , ready to face H .. D is brave. He never backs out of a challenging scenario no matter what the odds are of him escaping alive)

 

                 Step3 : H raises the steel chair.

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM …. CRAASHHHH ….. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOWWWWWWWW !!!!

 

 

This is the reporter reporting live from the scene. It appears that the dumb-ass has done it. He has actually hit D with a steel chair on his skull. D is bleeding. His jet black hair is turning red . dumb-ass is laughing. The evil laugh . u know the “ heee haawww haaa hee haaww haaa” laugh.

 

Enter the dragon( or rather the fat and equally huge V who is a friend and follower of the forces of freedom and justice .. I mean D)

 

This is the reporter again. We are live at the scene. It seems that V has  forgotten that he is not a big choo-choo train. V charges at H.

 

What a takedown !!

 

 Take that! u evil laughing dumb-ass. H is down and out for the count. Meanwhile we check on D. here is an update on the condition of D. he is getting all loopy. His vision is slowly getting blurred. He feels as if he is drifting .

 

Enter the ladies

 

SS and DC arrive. “ ohhhhhhhhh !!” they shriek. “ bood blood” DC shouts. “ so nowww u give me your attention ?” D thinks to himself.  They pour water on D ‘ s face. “ you are going to be all right !” reassures DC. Even now, D has a time for realization. He realizes why female nurses are so much in demand( besidesss the dress !! u pervert .. I was in sixth grade .. man .. ).. D realizes how a few words feminine voices speak can be so reassuring. He branches off .. he now knows why he loves Def Leppard.

            They touch him. Fondle him and caress his head, run theitr fingers through his hair. “ I will remember this instance of two girls fondling me at the same time .. all my life ! “ D says to himself. ( who wouldn’t !!)

 

Cutting the story short . because the rest is really uninteresting . or rather I don’t remember it clearly. Here goes.

D passes out.

Teachers come.

D ‘s parents are called.

D is rushed to a hospital.

D has thirteen stitches on his skull. ( 13 ?? why 13 …. Uhmmmm .. sometimes I hate superstition)

 

 

Another short one … impromptu and real life …

 

Mom :

  Abar kobita likhtey bosechis ? porteee boshh !!!

 

Son :

  Uff .. eta kobita bole money hoy tomar ? dekehe jaao naa

 

Mom:

  Bondho kor compeeutaar . bab k bole sob line katiye debo.

 

Son:

  Korchi korchi.

 

 

A parting line written in haste.

 

Harjyot singh. Aka H  :   you    ass ! what were u thinking ??i understand u r dumb and immature … but hit a guy half your size with a steel chair !! u r really the stupidest human being I have met in my life.

 

Well … another line :

 

Vishal karnani. Aka V : Thank you for saving my life that day. God knows what the freak would have done to me if u weren’t there. 

 

 

Mom :

  Ami kintu ebar sob taar kachi diye kete  felboo

 

Son :

  Eii dekho na .. shutdown .. ei naoo .

 

 

P.S. : shhhhhh .. quiet. Listen .. give me comments ok ? …

 

Mom:

   Eiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ekhonooooo ????? mithhhye bolli amayy ???

 

Son :

  Tumi bujhbar ches……………….

 

 

<TRANSMISSION LOST … EMERGENCY SHUTDOWN .. SYSTEMS GOING OFFLINE …>

 

 

 

8 comments:

Nilayan said...

yes yes
great!!!!

BRAVO READ!!!!

acidVox said...

:D

thenk euu

lady of blah said...

hmm....:))....you know school seems like an eternity away to me now...esp class 6...this post of yours made me go scavenger hunting....bringing back memories probably i dont think i can relate to...but in any case...it was fun reading it....hope you have some more school tales up your sleeves....:))

acidVox said...

lets c wat i can dig up ...

Anonymous said...

ekty katha bolbo......"gola" likhechog guru..........kudos again

acidVox said...

he he .. " gola " nice term

Tanima said...

gud narration...and and and moms are like that....but u keep up the good work!

acidVox said...

ya .. all moms are like that !


i ll keep up the work ... u too